My bony fingers ache after playing the same four, simple chords on the ukulele over and over again. While playing, I had a brief moment of worrisome thought because I know that as I plan to delve into the world of instruments my hands will suffer the greatest punishment. My fingers will be beaten down and twisted onto the keys . They will be manipulated and distorted in ways that biology never had in mind. They will be calloused over and cut raw from rubbing up and down strings. And I know that there will be a time, a time that I will find myself living in soon enough, when my hands will scream at me everyday, enraged at what I did to them. They will spiral outwards in pain, and I will consume pills from a medic just to muffle some of those screams. And I will have to suffer much more than I would if I never picked up a single instrument. But, if that cruelty enables me to create beautiful music that brings people together and puts smiles on faces from big to small. And if it can make just one person understand themselves a little bit better or inspire someone to embrace their creativity. And even if all it does is just give me one moment of peace when I feel like my heart is being heard then I'm pretty sure my fingers can take the fall.
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I originally wrote this on May 21st, 2013. This was during the first weeks after my decision to pursue music. 7 years later and I am starting to experience carpal tunnel syndrome and sore hands. Doesn't mean I need to stop, just become more mindful in my practice.
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